Two households live wealthily in Verona
One art fair Montague, another art Blessed Capulet. Both households with a son. Son of Capulet should be a woman With much told tales yet Alexander hath
Naught patience with Montague's son for he,
Leonardo, do charge thee with many
False proceedings. From weak quarrels to a
Fatal brawl lies these two foes future grudge.
Scene 1
Enter Alexander and Daniel
ALEXANDER
Those filthy Montague art repulsive.
Montague's son, Leonardo, should say
"I am King James I, when I talk, let no
Cows moo." A' execute the faces of
Royalty, dirty Leonardo.
DANIEL ------------------------------------I Prithee thee, good Alexander be at Accord. Let’s retire ere thou dispatch A Montague. Thy Love, Margrett, sits the Livelong day at home.
ALEXANDER --------------------------------Friend, if a bawdy Montague offend me, I wilt duel. I Held my patience ere, when he hath much talk 'bout the "only, noble family" here .
I held my tongue. I forgot the shames he
Stained me with. This day, I cannot hold my
Patience.
DANIEL ‘Tis well, dost not come to meet thy trouble. Montague naught trained Leonardo like Thy Father trained thee to act.
ALEXANDER By mine honor, I wilt not
Enter Leonardo LEONARDO
Wherefore art thee here? ‘Tis art Montague Land.
ALEXANDER -------Montague land! ‘Tis art Capulet Land!
LEONARDO ---------By the day, ‘tis land wilt be mine.
ALEXANDER -----------------------------------------------------------What Outrage do you speak of? My father wilt N’er give assurances to thou ill-breed.
LEONARDO Father sends me a priest to make Margrett My wife. Thy good grace, Capulet, shall think Of what dowry to be sent for me for Capulet, himself, arranged 'tis marriage With mine Father.
ALEXANDER ----------------------------You most lying hagseed! You robber. You stole Margett from through Thine crafty ways.
DANIEL(aside to Alexander) --------------------------These sentences art for Ear-kissing arguments. Let’s retire Ere blood is shed.
ALEXANDER(aside to Daniel) ---------------------------Hie, if thou would to leave a Coward rather than defending thy pride And honor.
LEONARDO ----------------You dare call me a liar, A robber. If thou apologize now, I might perchance forgive thee.
ALEXANDER ---------------------------------------------You fiend, I Wilt never apologize to thee. I Spoke soothly.
LEONARDO --------------------Thou flap-mouthed Capulet! Thou Cannot stand that thou lost the game. I hold Margrett's fair hand, and not thee.
ALEXANDER You ill-nurtured liar! Talkers are naught Doers. Hour by hour, you will rot And rot. [Draws] Will you walk?
DANIEL(aside) ---------------------------------------------I pray thee, gentle Alexander, blood is shed, the Montague Should live a million years without forgot The bloodshed.
ALEXANDER(aside) ----------------------Aye, and I should live a billion years with An unrest soul. I’ll not endure such lies.
LEONARDO I shall.
They fight SERVINGMAN Sirrah, my Lady calls for you
LEONARDO ------------------------------------------Hie, be Gone, I am dueling
Alexander stabs Leonardo LEONARDO You common-kissing cheater, villain! Thou stab me, while I reply to my Servingman
ALEXANDER Thy constellation ended. Thou must Join the stars or the doom of the Devil.
Lady Montague and Montague arrive LADY MONTAGUE
My child, who did this to thee?
LEONARDO Capulet cheated during a duel
ALEXANDER ---------------------------------------------Thou Villain. I fought for my victory fair.
LEONARDO Curse thy house. We will remember what thee did.
Leonardo dies MONTAGUE We art to revenge Leonardo’s death.
ALEXANDER So be it.
Exeunt all
Wutheringheights1 -This is an awesome idea and the argument between the two families is incredible, but i was confused about who the characters were. Maybe you could explain each in prologue or some such thing? Also maybe a little more description of how Leo stole Alex's girl. You also may want to add a piece about who Margrett loves and why Leo and Alex hate each other already? But all in all awesome!!
Hi Wutheringheights1,
Thank you for your fantastic feedback. I think I might make a short prologue to introduce my characters, too. Bye, Janeeyre1
The scene was very well written and the idea was very interesting. I was confused about who Daniel was, though. There were also a few missing periods here and there, but that's a minor mistake. I liked your choice of words too, for example, when you Alexander said, "You most lying hagseed!" Overall, the scene was great! -tokillamockingbrid
Dear tokillamockingbird,
Thanks for the amazing comment about my piece. I'm going to tidy up my missing periods. Your classmate, Janeeyre1
I loved the story, but I was confused about how they feel about each other. Maybe you could explain that a little more. Also, you may want to have shorter phrases and turn it into more lines if you were trying to have it like the play. This is a great piece and I look forward to your final draft. -Tuckeverlasting
To Tuckeverlasting, Thank you for the awesomereview. I'll try to make my character's emotions clearer.
From, Janeeyre1
THE PROLOUGE
Enter Chorus
Two households live wealthily in Verona
One art fair Montague, another art
Blessed Capulet. Both households with a son.
Son of Capulet should be a woman
With much told tales yet Alexander hath
Naught patience with Montague's son for he,
Leonardo, do charge thee with many
False proceedings. From weak quarrels to a
Fatal brawl lies these two foes future grudge.
Scene 1
Enter Alexander and Daniel
ALEXANDER
Those filthy Montague art repulsive.
Montague's son, Leonardo, should say
"I am King James I, when I talk, let no
Cows moo." A' execute the faces of
Royalty, dirty Leonardo.
DANIEL
------------------------------------I
Prithee thee, good Alexander be at
Accord. Let’s retire ere thou dispatch
A Montague. Thy Love, Margrett, sits the
Livelong day at home.
ALEXANDER
--------------------------------Friend, if a bawdy
Montague offend me, I wilt duel. I
Held my patience ere, when he hath much talk
'bout the "only, noble family" here .
I held my tongue. I forgot the shames he
Stained me with. This day, I cannot hold my
Patience.
DANIEL
‘Tis well, dost not come to meet thy trouble.
Montague naught trained Leonardo like
Thy Father trained thee to act.
ALEXANDER
By mine honor, I wilt not
Enter Leonardo
LEONARDO
Wherefore art thee here? ‘Tis art Montague
Land.
ALEXANDER
-------Montague land! ‘Tis art Capulet
Land!
LEONARDO
---------By the day, ‘tis land wilt be mine.
ALEXANDER
-----------------------------------------------------------What
Outrage do you speak of? My father wilt
N’er give assurances to thou ill-breed.
LEONARDO
Father sends me a priest to make Margrett
My wife. Thy good grace, Capulet, shall think
Of what dowry to be sent for me for
Capulet, himself, arranged 'tis marriage
With mine Father.
ALEXANDER
----------------------------You most lying hagseed!
You robber. You stole Margett from through
Thine crafty ways.
DANIEL (aside to Alexander)
--------------------------These sentences art for
Ear-kissing arguments. Let’s retire
Ere blood is shed.
ALEXANDER (aside to Daniel)
---------------------------Hie, if thou would to leave a
Coward rather than defending thy pride
And honor.
LEONARDO
----------------You dare call me a liar,
A robber. If thou apologize now,
I might perchance forgive thee.
ALEXANDER
---------------------------------------------You fiend, I
Wilt never apologize to thee. I
Spoke soothly.
LEONARDO
--------------------Thou flap-mouthed Capulet! Thou
Cannot stand that thou lost the game. I hold
Margrett's fair hand, and not thee.
ALEXANDER
You ill-nurtured liar! Talkers are naught
Doers. Hour by hour, you will rot
And rot. [Draws] Will you walk?
DANIEL (aside)
---------------------------------------------I pray thee, gentle
Alexander, blood is shed, the Montague
Should live a million years without forgot
The bloodshed.
ALEXANDER (aside)
----------------------Aye, and I should live a billion years with
An unrest soul. I’ll not endure such lies.
LEONARDO
I shall.
They fight
SERVINGMAN
Sirrah, my Lady calls for you
LEONARDO
------------------------------------------Hie, be
Gone, I am dueling
Alexander stabs Leonardo
LEONARDO
You common-kissing cheater, villain! Thou stab me, while I reply to my Servingman
ALEXANDER
Thy constellation ended. Thou must
Join the stars or the doom of the Devil.
Lady Montague and Montague arrive
LADY MONTAGUE
My child, who did this to thee?
LEONARDO
Capulet cheated during a duel
ALEXANDER
---------------------------------------------Thou
Villain. I fought for my victory fair.
LEONARDO
Curse thy house. We will remember what thee did.
Leonardo dies
MONTAGUE
We art to revenge Leonardo’s death.
ALEXANDER
So be it.
Exeunt all
Wutheringheights1
-This is an awesome idea and the argument between the two families is incredible, but i was confused about who the characters were. Maybe you could explain each in prologue or some such thing? Also maybe a little more description of how Leo stole Alex's girl. You also may want to add a piece about who Margrett loves and why Leo and Alex hate each other already? But all in all awesome!!
Hi Wutheringheights1,
Thank you for your fantastic feedback. I think I might make a short prologue to introduce my characters, too.
Bye, Janeeyre1
The scene was very well written and the idea was very interesting. I was confused about who Daniel was, though. There were also a few missing periods here and there, but that's a minor mistake. I liked your choice of words too, for example, when you Alexander said, "You most lying hagseed!" Overall, the scene was great!
-tokillamockingbrid
Dear tokillamockingbird,
Thanks for the amazing comment about my piece. I'm going to tidy up my missing periods.
Your classmate, Janeeyre1
I loved the story, but I was confused about how they feel about each other. Maybe you could explain that a little more. Also, you may want to have shorter phrases and turn it into more lines if you were trying to have it like the play. This is a great piece and I look forward to your final draft.
-Tuckeverlasting
To Tuckeverlasting,
Thank you for the awesome review. I'll try to make my character's emotions clearer.
From, Janeeyre1